Every time you make a decision that impacts on someone else, you are experiencing Chesed and Geburah: weighing up whether you are being "too hard" or "too soft".

Geburah is a misunderstood sephira - and can be frightening. It is the harsh lesson that we needed - the nervous breakdown that made us see where we needed to go next; the angina attack that stopped you short on your road to a heart-attack. Moving on sometimes means purging the past - and that is usually painful. However, Geburah has its less harsh side too - the side of free will. The ability to make things happen because you want them to. Albert Einstein was told he would never amount to anything by his school teachers - fortunately for the world, he didn't believe them. Stephen Hawking was given two years to live after being diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease - back in 1962. He isn't ready to die just yet - his work on cosmology is far too important. We create our own reality - a world of self-fulfilling prophecies. If you believe you are worthless, stupid or unattractive, the world will believe you and you will be. If you decide that you are capable of doing something, even if others have told you that you're not, you can do it. I have a friend who has been in a wheelchair all her life. It doesn't stop her being physically fit - she goes skiing, she's a national champion at wheelchair dancing, has a sense of humour and outlook on life that is far richer than most, and a left hook that's the envy of many a boxer!

Chesed is a great big giant fluffy sephira - it's warm and cosy and fills you with a nice glow. It's easy to love your friends when they love you back. But how easy is it to love the guy who pulled out in front of you in his car and then took the only parking space in the car park? Or the hypocritical politician who just gave a speech attacking something you hold dear? Or the drunk driver who caused your injuries? Or the terrorist who was responsible for planting the bomb that killed your child? Chesed has a message of love and forgiveness that can be just as difficult as Geburah.

Things can't be that bad - you're reading this, so you're still alive. But maybe life isn't perfect for you - there are a few bits and pieces that you'd like to change. Maybe it's time for an upgrade. Version 1 is getting a little stale and you're getting a bit fed up with it. So - let's get Version 2 out of the box and see what we can do with it.

You load it up - there's a blank white screen, and some toolbars.

This is your life. It's a blank slate. Now, start to create the reality you would like. Click on the job icon - what sort of work would you really like? Design your perfect job. What sort of holidays would you like? Design your perfect holiday scenario.

Having designed your perfect life, you could just save it to disk and look at it. Alternatively, you could actually attempt to run it; to do this, you first need to process your life through the Reality for Windows Action Compiler. Otherwise, when you try to run your new reality, you may get error messages: "Caribbean Holiday Error: Insufficient funds to complete task". The Action Compiler lets you specify a list of things you need to achieve each task: money, qualifications, experience and so on. For each action, you then have to determine how you could go about achieving these things.

This is not an easy half-hour exercise. It is a long and daunting task, and can take many years. However, a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step - you can start to make positive changes to your life right this instant. Now. Not tomorrow. Just put one of the things on your list into action now. Then another, and another. Before long, your life will have changed beyond all recognition.

Geburah has to be balanced with Chesed. Will is a fine thing, but must be tempered with Mercy. For instance, in the last exercise you could have decided that a suitable action to increase your wealth would be "rob a bank", or a suitable way to go to Bali would be "hijack a plane". The problem is, this could lead to the airlines and banks having "catch and imprison the person who robbed our bank/hijacked our plane" as one of their actions - and being banks and airlines, they may have Reality for Windows v3.0!

So use your Will - but use it with Love, use it to make our Universe a better place, and not to trample all over other people.

The idea of "Love Thy Neighbour" is a beautiful one - but can be a difficult one to put into practice. I'm indebted to the Western Order of Buddhists for the following meditation - I first started meditating at a group run by the Western Order of Buddhists back in the early 1980s, and part of their technique is to imagine your close friends and think loving thoughts about them. Then you expand this to include people that you don't feel that close to. Then expand it again to include people you actively dislike, and so on - until you can love your enemy.

Sit down comfortably, in a place where you won't be disturbed. Close your eyes, and breathe in and out, slowly.

As you breathe in, concentrate on your breath. Feel it flowing in through your nostrils and into your lungs.

Hold the breath for a few seconds - just long enough to savour it, but not long enough to be uncomfortable.

Now breathe out, and feel the warm air blowing out gently through your nostrils.

Breathe in again, and out. Keep breathing rhythmically for a few minutes, concentrating on the feel of the breath

Now imagine a close friend. Hold a picture of them in your mind, and smile. Think loving thoughts of them, and as you breathe out send waves of loving energy to that person. Imagine holding them and giving them a hug if it feels appropriate. Repeat for several of your friends.

Keep going, and include people you feel neutral about - these may include work colleagues, shop keepers, the refuse collectors, newspaper deliverers and so on. It's OK - you can love them too. It won't hurt.

Now see if you can include people that have pissed you off a bit in the past - not that you hate them, you may be just a bit annoyed with them. Go on - treat yourself. Love them anyway.

By now, your heart chakra should be just buzzing with Love. Don't worry if you can't actually feel it - it is, I promise you!

So now, you're ready for the Big One. Think of someone that makes your skin crawl, someone you loathe and detest from the core of your being. It may be a politician, a TV evangelist, a chat-show host, your boss - anyone. Hold an image of them in your mind. Tell them that you loathe what they stand for, and you disagree with them, but that they are human like you and you love them - because you love the whole of humanity. Go on - I know it's not easy. But try. Give them a big loving hug. Embrace them warmly. Love them. They have a soul, too - just like you, and me and everyone else in the Universe.

Don't despair if you can't do this exercise. It takes a LOT of working up to!